Where Adultery Comes From

Lead In:

Last week we moved into the main body of the Sermon on the Mount. These are the “boots on the ground” instructions from Jesus, about how the people He just described in The Beatitudes, live out their day to day life.

We started out last week with a truth that is going to carry us through to the end of The Sermon on the Mount, yes; but also every day we have left under the sun. Sin starts in the heart. We are not passive lumps of clay; either acting on nothing but instinct, or being nothing but the byproducts of the choices of others.

We are “image bearers” of God; which can manifest in numerous different ways, yes; but for today, it means that we have a “nature”, just like God has one, that compels us forward. And the “nature” we were created with is one that moves, directs, and motivates us toward that which we hold in the highest regard. We are “worshipping beings”, designed by the only Being worthy of worship, God Himself.

And it is there, deep within our nature, where sin comes from. Our heart. “...out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. These are the things which defile a man…” (Matt. 15:19 &20). 

Last week, we saw that anger, left un-dealt with in our heart, leaves us guilty of murder. Be it sinful anger we refuse to repent of; or righteous anger we let fester in unforgiveness; we are assuming that we ourselves are the highest being, and others are ours to do with as we please. 

Today’s verses, about lust and adultery, speak on that exact same thing. Assuming that we ourselves; our life; our feelings, wants, and desires; are the end goal of our life. When we lust, our heart believes the other person is nothing more than an object to serve our own ends; and makes us guilty of adultery; regardless of if we act on it.

Read → Matthew 5:27-30 & Opening Prayer

Where it starts:

As He did in the previous verses (v.21-26), Jesus is showing us that He is the “final say” in regards to The Moral Law of God. And ever since God first gave the 10 Commandments to Moses, humanity has been constantly trying to redefine and reinterpret His words. 

We all, like The Pharisees before us; read the words of God, and said “He doesn't mean that, of course. Now let me tell you what He really means.” We write book after book trying to explain away our sins; and when someone comes along and points out our inconsistencies with Scripture…we label them a bigot, misogynist, or feminist, then go about our life surrounding ourselves with others whose sin dovetails with our own. All of which is just the lie Eve believed in the Garden; “Did God really say…” (Gen. 3:1)

At this point in time, however, The Pharisees had made massive headway in this area. They had lifted themselves up as exemplars of virtue, their white-washed actions gaining them the praise of the people. Someone could have very easily said “Well…The Pharisees never sleep around, so I believe them when they say things about the 7th Commandment.” Then Jesus comes along, quotes the 7th Commandment, and explains that its scope goes far beyond what someone does with their body.

Just like we are not saved by our actions (Eph. 2:8 & 9); we aren’t damned by them either. Now, before you get your stones to drive me from the pulpit, hear me out. When our day in His court comes before us; and all of our words and actions are laid bare; He is going to follow them, desire by desire, back to our heart…and examine where they came from. When He arrives at your heart, will He see the blood of His Son?  Or will He see you? Your good actions don't save you, because you've never taken an action independent of your heart. And your bad actions don’t damn you…for the same reason. Every sin you have ever committed lived in your heart far longer than it came out of your mouth or body. It is your heart, brothers and sisters, that condemns you; your actions simply prove your condemnation.

So when Jesus is explaining the true jurisdiction of The Moral Law, in regards to the 7th Commandment; what does He say? Does He say: “If you don't sleep with someone you aren't married to, you're good to go.”? Not at all. He explains that lusting after someone is adultery. Meaning, there is no difference between the lustful thought and the heart-wrenching, family- breaking, childhood-destroying adultery that has consumed so many people.

Now…you may have an opportunity here to disagree, right? You can think; “Of course there is a difference Pastor. Someone can lust, without their family falling to ruin, especially if they don't act on it. A wife can stray out from under the authority of her husband and run to the embrace of another man…in her thoughts, which means her daughter won't learn to do the same thing. How could she? A man can engage in endless sexual fantasies with someone who isn't his wife…in his thoughts, without teaching his sons that women are objects. How would he learn it?”

My first response is…“are you sure about that?” Can you let your thoughts linger anywhere, without them eventually giving birth into action? Regardless of if they are Godly or wicked, the only difference between a thought and action is the delay between them. For some people, this delay is moments; acting impulsively on whatever thought enters their mind. For others, it's years, but it still exists. What our inner self spends its time on will always come out in our behaviors. Always.

Unless, of course, something happens to stop those dominoes from falling.

If your lustful thoughts aren't intercepted, they will change the way you approach your spouse with intimate expectations; change the way you interact with people of the opposite gender; or it will give way to physical adultery. Prov. 6:27 says it this way → “Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?”

Do you feel safe, so long as your lust lives in your heart and nowhere else? I hope not, because it will never stay there. Day after day you are telling your body what you want, and who you want it from. And sooner or later…it's going to listen. What, oh Christian, can stop the dominoes of your evil thoughts from falling into action?

My second response is…

If the lustful thoughts you have had; those you've never even put into action; were broadcast before the eyes of the people in your life that love you; it would have the exact same effect on your friends and family as if you had given in. 

Your inner-self, your heart, is who you truly are;

and it will always come out in your actions

unless something happens.

This is precisely why Solomon gives such stark warnings throughout the book of Proverbs. He knows, first-hand, the dangers of lust; and warns us what to do when it appears.

Proverbs 5:3-10 → “For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; [4] But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. [5] Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell. [6] Lest you ponder her path of life— Her ways are unstable; you do not know them. [7] Therefore hear me now, my children, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. [8] Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house, [9] Lest you give your honor to others, and your years to the cruel one; [10] Lest aliens be filled with your wealth, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner.”

What is his advice when the opportunity to give in to lust presents itself?

Run! Don't even go near her house. Get away! On purpose!

And if you don't take his advice, what does he say will happen?

You’ll be giving your honor to others; every year of your life will be wasted and given to satan; and foreigners will be filled with the wealth of your hard work. When the wisest man in Scripture falls into the swamps of lust, we should listen to his advice about where on the map they are located. 

What do we do about it?

When Jesus explains that lusting in your heart is adultery; thereby teaching the true understanding of the 7th Commandment; He doesn't simply tell us…and then move on. He gives us instructions about what to do when it arises. Because He is a loving, kind, and patient God, He gives us information and instructions. 

So…when the viper of lust lays coiled in the high grass of our heart; when the whore whose clothes barely cover her body looks to you; what does Jesus tell us we should do?

“If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.” (v.29) “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.” (v.30) Brothers and sisters, we need to be taking extreme, radical, life-changing, dramatic and immediate action to remove the ability to give in to lust, out of our life. And though Jesus was using amputation as a hyperbolic word-picture; I’m not going to. 

If you can’t help but go to those websites you know you shouldn't be on…then why do you still allow yourself access to the internet? Maybe you don't visit those ones, right? Maybe it's just that one celebrity who wears just enough clothes? Or maybe it’s just the random person who isn't dressed seductively, and doesn't use suggestive language…but the lust still begins to bubble up anyways? Do you really think you can flirt with sin and stay safe? Are all the benefits that come with using the internet really worth sinning against the King who died to save you?

If you are spending an inordinate amount of time with someone of the opposite gender that you aren't married to…why? Do you live with them? Or arrange your day around being with them? Are they your friend with benefits? Regardless of if they are physical, emotional, social, or financial? Furthermore, aren't all of them; all of the blessings that come from such a relationship…reserved for marriage? Yes. It is husbands and wives whose relationship points one another to Christ (Eph. 5:22-27). It is husbands and wives whose finances are for the benefit of their family (1 Tim. 5:8; Prov. 31:16-18). It is husbands and wives who join their bodies together as one (Gen. 1:24). Not your friend with benefits. 

So you haven't had sex? It doesn't matter, because Jesus uses bodily amputation as an illustration for how serious you need to be about cutting that relationship…and possibly that person…out of your life.

How do you react when the sweet smelling perfume of lust enters your nostrils? In the heat of the moment, you need to take immediate, drop-of-the-hat, radical action. At the first hint of temptation; do everything you can to make it impossible for you to sin. To use the words of King Solomon; “Run!” And if you need to; if you know you are about to fall; take that instruction literally.

Brothers and sisters, do not negotiate with lust. It's too powerful. Kill it by cutting it out of your life. Do not “friend-zone” your sin, leading it on while thinking you’ll never give in. It's stronger than you are. You can not overpower it, you can not wrestle it into working for you instead of against you. It was born in the dark, and is doing everything it can to return to its master. 

Meaning…

Stop going on the internet if your own choices testify against you when you are there.

Stop living with, or spending days on end with, someone you aren't married to. 

Stop trying to argue about why it's ok; how it doesn't really apply to you; how God didn't really mean it that way. Make the hard choice to let go of the future that God refuses to let go of. You know the one, it's the one you have been trying really really hard to control. The one unknown to you; the one filled with unpredictable outcomes and varying degrees of unknowingness…and stop. Pluck your eye out and cut your hand off if need be.

If you have repented of your sins and believed in Him; and know that you are guilty before Him for those sins, then He will not abandon you, yes. But…He will discipline you. And the longer you remain in your sin, the more it will hurt when that discipline does come to bear against you. 

So what do you do? You arrange your life; ahead of time; to set yourself up for success. To state the obvious; if you don’t, that means you are setting yourself up for failure…why would anyone do that? 

To set yourself up for success, is to place the highest, most supreme and ultimate reality of your life, at the very center of every thought, action, word, decision, hobby, habit, career or relationship; then live out your life in relation to that.

_____

Now, to shift gears slightly. Stay with me.

Remember, we are worshipping beings. It is what every human does. We all live out our life in accordance with that which we hold in highest regard, at the center of every choice and thought. How we work, how we raise our families, how we interact with other people. Every choice in the life of a person is a manifestation of what they worship. Which means that human worship is powerful. It builds and breaks families and nations. It starts and ends wars. It was worship that moved men to cross oceans and conquer mountains. It was worship that moved women to raise families.

All of us arrange our life around something; be it family, career, drugs, money, hobbies, or sex; all of us place something on the altar of our heart. And if it isn't God, then, because of how powerful human worship is, we will kill it. If your family is the end-all-be-all of your life, you are going to hurt and destroy your family. If it's your job, hobbies, or career; if it is final in your life…your worship will crush it. And if it's sex, you will destroy it, while it destroys you. 

It might sound odd that someone worships sex, and you might be wondering why people are led in that direction to begin with; why it is so powerful and has such an allure; which we will discuss in the next point.

Right now, however, we have a perfect example in Scripture of someone not arranging their life ahead of time to keep lust away from them. 

2nd Samuel 11:1 & 2 → “It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. [2] Then it happened one evening that David arose from his bed and walked on the roof of the king’s house. And from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful to behold.”

Did you notice where David should have been…compared to where he was?

Bathsheba knew how close she lived to the king. She knew her house was in his direct line of sight, and chose to get naked on the roof. And he knew it as well.

So…instead of going to war to crush the enemies of God like a real man, he decided to stay home. To go out on the roof that faced in her direction. And we all know the rest of the story. David was on purpose arranging his life in such a way that he was neglecting what God had laid out before him; ignoring his duties and shirking his responsibilities; thereby setting himself up for failure by allowing himself the ability to give in to his lustful thoughts.

Do you, man of God, neglect the duties He has given you?

Are you working hard where and when He has you?

Are you setting yourself up for failure?

Do you, woman of God, entice men?

Do you put yourself in the path of a man you're not married to?

Are you setting yourself up for failure?

Both of you are guilty. 

Praise be to a God who forgives the guilty by

accounting their punishment to Christ.

The discipleship of the Kingdom of God is a standard of conduct that requires true, unreserved, absolute commitment, encompassing even our thoughts. So…what are you going to do about it, ahead of time, to set yourself up for success? Will you be in Church next week, even if you're tired and it's raining out and you can be just fine, thank you very much, without going? Will your Bible stay shut today, because you sat through a Sermon afterall.

Will you work for the glory of God, wherever He has you? No matter if you punch a clock? Will your hobbies be ones that He would sit side by side with you to enjoy? Were Jesus to unexpectedly walk in your room, and the glory that surrounds Him didn't kill you on the spot, would He approve of what He sees you doing, and when you're doing it? Will He agree with your choices on a day by day basis? How do you know? Are you willing to end friendships? Throw your phone away? Change jobs? Move? Stop enjoying hobbies that one time brought you joy? How desperate are you to keep lustful thoughts away from you? 

Desperate enough to pluck your eyes out or cut your hands off?

That's not enough, because they aren't the problem.

When Jesus uses the hyperbolic example of amputating a part of your body, He is showing that we must take immediate, drastic action against our lust; yes. But He is also saying that any loss, no matter how painful it may be, is preferable over Hell. It is better to suffer the loss of comfort, convenience, and relationships willingly, than to suffer the ultimate loss unwillingly. What are you willing to give up? If the answer is “nothing”...then you are in sin and will be cast into Hell.

With this, you have another opportunity to disagree, right? 

“I am willing to never go on the internet ever again Pastor, but how do I know if I need to? I'm willing to never go to the beach again, because I know that girls whose dad never said “I love you” to them, will be using their bikinis to entice other men to say it…but how do I know if I need to? I'm willing to move out, to break off my sinful relationships, and do everything I can to stop myself from giving in…how do I know if I need to?”

My answer is: If you are honest to goodness willing; you know it will be a sacrifice, that it will be hard, and uncomfortable, and scary, but you really are willing…thats the first step. Then, talk to your Pastor. Ask your Elders for help. Admit your weakness to the children of God to your left and right, and trust them to guide you forward. You know the right thing to do, you just need help in doing it. Is it humbling? You bet. Does it kill your pride? Yup.

Trying to figure out the right thing to do;

is the right thing…

so long as you actually follow through.

Once you've gotten over yourself, admitted your sin, and asked for help…follow through. Take actual, actionable steps to keep lust away from you, no matter how drastic they may be. James 1:22 & 23 says it this way → “Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. [22] But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”

Why such drastic measures?

The reason why Jesus is using such strict and binding language here, is because, as I said earlier; the alluring power of physical intimacy is powerful. Solomon, the wisest man in Scripture fell to it. Samson’s strength didn't help him when lust stood ready to strike (Jud. 16). And David, the man after God’s own heart (as we read earlier), fell as well. If men like that can fall, it shows us how powerful of a pull this sin has. It's like this, because at its root sins of a sexual nature are a glaring example of self-worship. Of idolatry.

Colossians 3:1-6 → “If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God…[5] Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

To give your heart and body to another; is to say “Here is all of me, I belong to you and no one else” then leave both, heart and body, with them, and never get it back. Brothers and sisters, we need guardrails around such a powerful action. When we have none; or if they are constructed by us; it becomes idolatrous fornication that must be put to death.

To let the actions you take in intimacy with someone else be the ultimate reality of your life, is idolatry. And to speak as a fool for just a moment (2 Cor. 11:21); if you aren't going to put God on the altar of your heart, the next best thing would be something that He instructs us to enjoy.  Sex is a good thing, created by God, so…it almost fits. Yes it rocks out of place at the slightest breeze of opposition, but if you don't call attention to it not belonging, it will sit there nice and tidy until the day you enter Hell. God made sex, brothers and sisters, and designed us to desire it…which makes it all the easier to worship.

We can all agree that God created sex, even though it might be slightly uncomfortable to speak on; but then push through that discomfort and make our case that that is exactly why the devil attacks it so much. And we would be right.

Our three enemies; which includes ourself; use the things that God created to carry out evil, because the easiest way to sin is to use that which God calls good…and then distort it. It still has its goodness inherent within it, so the lie doesn't cut us as sharp as it could. But the truth goes deeper, so deep in fact, it touches upon the very nature of the Godhead.

Stay with me here.

Gen. 1:27 → “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Three in person; one in essence.

God (as three-in-one) is the creator of life.

God, as the three-in-one creator of life, made us in His image; male and female.

Which means that humans have an indwelling active desire to unite our soul with another person, and create life. It's part of our very nature. There, in the intimacy of a marriage bed, in the act of creating a life; we are carrying out an aspect of human nature that acknowledges we were created in the image of God. 

_____

Another part of our nature, remember, is worship. We all place something on the altar of our heart; and one of the most prevalent objects of worship in human history is sex. Not simply because of the physical, emotional, and spiritual pleasure derived from it; but because it unites us, physically and spiritually, with another person in the process of creating life. It is one of the most powerful ways that the lie we believed in the Garden shows up in our life. Which means then, when someone places sex on the altar of their heart, it isn't the action they worship; it's themselves.

This is why, when David was confronted by the prophet Samuel about his sin with Bathsheba, and he was brought to repentance over it; he wrote this in Psalm 51:3 & 4 → “For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me. [4] Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight; That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge.”

In Gen. 39:9 as Potiphar's wife was trying to seduce Joseph, he responded by saying → “There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”

To sin in the realm of sexuality, is to abuse the Imago Dei (Image of God) we were created with; and sin against God Himself.

The deepest desire of the human heart is to be unified with the God who made them; and because we are fallen and prone to wander, we will use that which comes closest to “being like God” to do so. And because the act of marital intimacy involves far more than our physical bodies, it helps the lie to sink deeper and deeper into our identity. 

Closing

As we come to a close; one last thing must be said. 

How can we tell the difference between the normal sexual desire that God created us with; that desire to unite our soul with another in the act of creating a life; from lust? 

There are two answers that we can condense into one.

The first is to understand why God created sex to begin with, and there are three reasons. Consummation; Procreation; and Recreation.

When it says this in Gen. 2:24 → “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”; which Jesus repeats in Matt. 19:5; and Paul reiterates in Eph. 5:31; it is talking about the union of two physical bodies in the marital bed. Thus the marriage is consummated. It is official.

In Gen. 1:28; 9:1 & 7 & Levi. 26:9; God tells us to “be fruitful and multiply”. Which means we have its second purpose of procreation.

In Prov. 5:18 & 19, we are told to be “intoxicated” with the physicality of our spouse, which Solomon repeats all through The Song of Solomon (Song. 4:9 & 10; 5:1; 7:6-10); and gives us its third purpose, recreation.

So when asking if you are feeling lust; or the normal drive you were created with; ask if the end goal of that feeling is a spouse to marry, make babies with, and enjoy (Prov. 5:18). Ask yourself if the end goal is God being glorified in your bedroom? 

The second answer, which will clarify the first, is: are you seeking to honor God with your sexual desires? Is He the ultimate, highest authority over what transpires in your bedroom? Or is it nothing but physical, emotional urges you are seeking to satisfy?

To condense them, we need to understand that (just like anger) physical intimacy is a fire that must be used within the confines of God’s instructions. It provides warmth, safety, comfort, pleasure, and power; yes; but it will bring a home down to nothing but ash when it goes beyond the glory of God it was designed to teach. At the first sign of lust; do not negotiate with it, kill it. Pluck your eye out, cut your hand off and cast it far from you.

“For it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish,

than for your whole body to be cast into Hell.”

Matthew 5:30

Rev. Jacob Marchitell

April 19th 2026

Extra Notes:

For too long the Church in America has relegated discussion related to sex to the World, and the ramifications have been disastrous. Our children get “the talk” not from Godly parents who tell them that sex is a good thing that ought be enjoyed; but from government school teachers, their friends, or even worse; strangers on the internet. 

We have access to unfettered filth with a few swipes on our phones; and our abortion clinics kill off the children that come from acting on what we just watched. We are taught that sex is a privilege for the consenting…when Scripture teaches that it is a right (1 Cor. 7:1-9) for the married. We are taught that each person has autonomous authority over their bodies, even in marriage, instead of the husband having authority over the body of his wife, and the wife having authority over the body of her husband (1 Cor. 7:1-9). How would it land, if you told someone that a wife isn't allowed to say “no” to her husband when he has intimate intentions? Would our culture be ok with that? Are you? Or how about the reverse? That a husband can't say “no” when his wife approaches him? (1 Cor. 7:1-9) Our culture has distorted and weaponized physical intimacy to cataclysmic proportions, and the lust we all deal with is nothing but the swarms of the flies that hover above the filth. Do you want to destroy a nation? Then coax its men into perversion by encouraging its women to be whores for a monthly subscription; and empower the men to dominate the women in their life instead of serve them. Sexually pacified men, willing and eager to move from one woman to the next; and women giving them that opportunity; is,-in part; what is wrong with this country.

My friends, it is not some odd happenstance that a country consumed with pre-marital sex and recorded filth is being invaded by cultural degenerates. We are getting exactly what we want. We are harvesting the perversion we have been sowing. It's our fault.

 95% of Americans have engaged in premarital sex. “Trends in Premarital Sex in the United States, 1954–2003; Lawrence B. Finer

87% of men ages 18-35 consume adult material on a weekly basis. “A Billion Wicked Thoughts Study” Columbia University 2014